I’m sorry

Feb 27, 2019

***Wrote this Sunday night coming out of ceremony::: 

I’m sorry… that I’m not hiring a social media person… that I’m not responding to every comment or message.

Some say that’s so not professional. That if I’m to build tribe I get to show up consistently so people can know like and trust me. 

Truth is I hate being online nudging people to stay in the vortex of the book of faces in comparison seeking externally or in the good old gram with the curated marketing tactics. But then I love the power of social media and how real it makes my global vision. But what I really want is you in nature with me in a circle with other beautiful beings here to serve and expand. 

I’m sorry I don’t have well thought out launches and marketing campaigns. That I don’t have a well defined niche. 

My heart feels for the world as cliche as it sounds. I want to serve all beings both adults and the youth. If I could create something for the blind and deaf, trust me I would. 

I’m sorry. That I can’t stick to one thing. My heart just loves to create. I’m sorry for confusing you not knowing what the fuck I do. I just hate labels and titles. And I’m sorry for that too. 

I’m sorry I don’t have clear call to actions. I’m sorry I take way too fucking long editing and avoiding putting myself more out there. 

I hate sales and I hate networking. Anything that feels too pushy or feels like an agenda. I crave authentic connection. Organic conversation. And when I’m home I just love being at home. 

I’m sorry I don’t reach out or text back right away. I assume a lot of people are busy and I get busy too. I’m sorry if I offended you… if we lost touch… if we don’t speak or if I didn’t show up for you.

I’m sorry if I broke my word or was late. I’m sorry for all the times I yelled and took it personal. I’m sorry my delivery wasn’t mild enough or dressed up with a bow.

I’m sorry my communication is funky like my brain thinks in Spanglish and sentences tend to make more sense in my mind. 

Im sorry Im too passionate. I’m sorry my brain thinks in stories, in chapters and scenes… characters, lyrics, plots.. visuals, movements, music, pictures and products. I’m sorry it always feels like I’m creating a global movement in my head.

I’m sorry I keep pushing back my book deadline and keep writing films I fear will never be seen. I’m sorry I sing only in sacred spaces. That judgement alone contradicts that every space is sacred. Im sorry Im not vocal about my coaching clients success, my healer sessions.

I’m sorry I don’t brag enough about my results, about the youth leaders I serve, or the products I create. I’m sorry I don’t share more about my mystic gifts, how I can see things and just know, how your guides show up before you reach out.

Im sorry I read vibes before giving the benefit of doubt. I’m sorry I didn’t trust. I’m sorry I got distracted a lot. I’m sorry I kept avoiding the things that really excite and scare the fuck out of me. 

I’m sorry for the walls I put up. It’s easier sometimes. To stay safe and play in my own sandbox. I could go on and on and on. And I’m sorry for that too. 

I’m sorry. 
Please forgive me. 
Thank you. 
I love you. 

*It’s all in the undoing. We unravel to birth magick. 

Thank you for holding space for me as you read this to the end. 

Sending massive luv to you!